Creative Writing 101

The Writer's Chair

Okay, boys and girls, it's time to put our desks in a circle for our weekly Writer's Chair. Please give your attention to Miss Anonymous as she reads a portion of the novel she's been working on. As always, give her your honest feedback, but give it kindly and gently. Remember, this is her "baby" we'll be talking about. Miss Anonymous, before you begin reading, set us up a bit.

Well, this is an expert from the end of Chapter 9. Basically, a young girl (seemingly normal)

just witnessed a series of unexplainable, magical things. In this passage, she is

realizing just how different the rest of her life is going to be. A LOT of things happened

to lead up to this point, but I wanted to pick a passage that showed the magic of the

story, yet really captured Madelyn's inner feelings. Be warned, it probably won't make a

whole lot of sense story-wise, since you haven't read the other 8.75 chapters, but I hope

you like it none the same.  So, here goes. . .

"Stand back." She shouted, focusing her attention on Symon's violent

emissions. "This is going to get hot."

As she instructed, I ran quickly towards an inlet against the wall. As soon as she

knew I was out of harm's way, she wrapped both of her hands around her wand and

began murmuring something beneath her breath. Symon must have realized what she

was doing because he began instantly backing away—but he reacted too slowly. For

as he finally turned and began running for safety, her wand began to glow. Symon

didn't make it twenty feet before he suddenly fell to his knees, gripping his head in

agony.

After a minute, or so, she released her enchantment—and Symon fell face-first

onto the floor below; his body began twitching uncontrollably and his bladder began to

empty onto the concrete below his body. Something about that mortifying image made

me think twice about the orange-haired girl, but the other part of me was gratified; I was

definitely on the right side of the battlefield.

I turned back to check on our comrade—who was fighting to survive his

handicapped battle. I was feeling confident in his success until one of the cloaked

individuals connected with his front paw. A deafening moan rumbled the fragile, brick

walls as he struggled to fend them off. The orange-haired girl turned towards me,

gripping my shoulders firmly.

"He needs my help; he won't survive long on his own. Madelyn, I want you to

listen to me very carefully: a few hundred yards back, I saw a passageway. Each of

these passages leads to an exit. I want you to run—as fast as you can. We'll come for

you. You're going to have to trust me on that." She said over another pained moan. "I've

got to go; good luck."

She let go of me without further warning and pranced quickly to his aid. I

watched for a brief moment before I realized I was wasting precious time. I turned and

began running quickly in the direction of the arena. It didn't take me long at a dead

sprint to reach the turn that I needed. Without hesitation, I rounded the corner as

quickly as I could. In the distance behind me, I could hear the pattering of footsteps

growing nearer by the second.

As soon as I rounded the corner, the light of an exit was barely visible in the

distance. Hopeful, I began running even faster than before. The adrenaline began

pumping through my veins—either from the excitement of from the fear—and I began

running quicker than I'd ever run before. As I came within a few hundred feet of the

exit, however, I came to a sudden standstill. Before me, where the road to my safety

should have been, was a deep, empty crater.

"It can't be a dead end." I whispered aloud to myself—tears beginning to swell up

in my eyes.

The tunnel's walls continued to rumble—and masses of brick persisted to

plummet from the ceiling. Then, a thunderous boom, most probably some sort of

explosion, echoed from deep within the tunnel. Immediately following, the walls began

to crumble before my eyes.

"No!" I shouted, realizing that my new friends remained trapped inside.

I failed to realized, however, that I had only two options. My first was to stand

within the tunnel—only to have tons upon tons of falling rock crush my delicate body.

My second and far more terrifying option was to take a leap of faith—right off of the side

of the cliff. Either way, I recognized that the likelihood of my survival was minimal.

I struggled between the two, looking in both directions—unable to find the

strength inside me to make such an unfavorable decision. Then, before I had the

chance to decide, the ground beneath me began to crack. Startled, I tried to run

forward, back into the tunnel. To my dismay, the entire expanse surrounding my feet

began crumbling; in a matter of seconds, the ground disappeared from beneath me. I

felt the gravitational pull yanking on my helpless body as I fell backwards out of the

brick-laid tunnel—and straight off the side of the cliff.

I literally felt as though I was watching the following moments in slow motion. I

looked on for what seemed like minutes as the collapsing tunnel began to grow further

and further away from me and I neared the jagged terrain below. In those few, short

moments, I'd begun to give up—and I was silently saying goodbye to what little ounce

of a life I had left to loose. Just as I started to close my eyes in surrender, a large, dark

shadow emerged from the crumpling passageway out of which I tumbled. It only took

the time of a heartbeat to realize that my savior had once again come through for me.

As his colossal, feline claws outstretched towards me, I reached my arms out for him. It

took little time to notice the orange-haired girl clinging effortlessly to his fur, looking

down towards me with determination in her stare.

In a swift motion, she leapt from his back into another somersault as he

simultaneously transformed into the massive horned owl from before. As his

transformation came to a complete conversion, he reached out and caught me with

his talons. Effortlessly, the orange-haired girl landed gracefully onto his back—and

we began flying away to safety. It wasn't until we began rising into the air again that I

realized I had been only inches from the ground when his claws snatched me.

He lifted his talon high enough for the orange-haired girl to pull me onto his back.

Once I was safely aboard, I took a moment to catch my breath. My heart began racing,

finally able to comprehend what had just happened—and my fingers began shaking

uncontrollably. Until that moment, I hadn't had the time to let everything sink in—

the torture, the deceit, and the bizarre things that I had witnessed. It wasn't until that

moment that I realized nothing in my life would ever be the same again.

"I can bet that this is a little overwhelming for you, isn't it?" The orange-haired girl

said with a smile. "Don't worry; things will get better. By the way, my name's Alba. I'm

happy to finally meet you, Madelyn."

I turned to see her staring back at me with a relaxed grin. Her eyes were the

brightest shade of yellow and feline in appearance. They were the most unique and

intriguing eyes that I had ever seen. She tied her hair back in a short ponytail and her

bangs swooped naturally to the side. She was a very pretty girl and her gaze radiated

genteelness.

"Pardon me for asking, but how exactly do you know my name? I don't think that

we've ever met." I asked, trying my hardest to piece everything together.

She giggled playfully at my question, and the lightness of the situation brought a

smile to my face. It had seemed like an eternity since I had smiled—and it felt nice

being in the company of somebody that wasn't trying to torture me.

"Don't worry, Madelyn. Everything will make sense, soon enough." She said with

a wink of her catlike eye.

The multi-colored clouds indicated that the morning was new—and the sun

brilliantly shined from the sky above. I stared at it in awe, mesmerized by its peaceful

appearance. Then, something caught my eye that beyond astounded me. A mile or so

ahead, floating through the sky before us was a massive, wooden ship. I snickered

under my breath as I watched it; had I seen it a day earlier, I would never have believed

that an inanimate object could fly. In that moment, however, I realized that anything

was possible—and the laws of rationality no longer applied.

It was assembled by means of the prettiest wood I had ever feasted my eyes

upon—and its massive flag bared a striking resemblance to a sail as it fluttered in the

morning wind. The entire scene was captivating and surreal—the kind one would have

to see to appreciate—or believe. I took a deep breath, soaking up the crisp, daybreak

air, and I finally began to feel at ease. For in that moment, I came to fathom two,

extraordinary things: my friends and I had just escaped a fate worse than death—and

our amazing adventure had only just begun.

Okay, let's hear it for Miss Anonymous! (Loud clapping) Now let's give Miss Anonymous some feedback on her story. I'll go first and then you chime in with your feedback by clicking on the "comment" button below this post.

Comments

[Debbie Heal]

Let me begin by saying this is pretty exciting stuff. It makes me want to know more about the story. So that right off is a tremendous accomplishment.

I think there is a point of view glitch, Miss Anonymous. When you say "I failed to realized, however, that I had only two options." you are stepping outside of yourself to make the sort of comment a 3rd person narrator would make. After all, if you don't realize your options, how can you then tell us what they are? But that's easily fixed.

Now let's hear responses from anyone out there reading this blog. Please join in by clicking the comment button.

Now

[Barbara Woods]

I fully agree that it is exciting and makes me want to read more. I do feel that there are a couple of places where it would have been better to use a more common word rather than the word used. Also saw a few typos but that is easily fixed. Personally I am not into fantasy however I think I would enjoy this book.

[Debbie Heal]

The fact that no one has commented is not an indication of lack of interest in your writing. It's either blog shyness or they just aren't coming to my blog in the first place. Sigh.

[Miss Anonymous]

I am happy to have had even the two of you read and critique my work. I am extremely excited to hear that you both found my story captivating--and that you're interested in learning more about it. It's not your everyday fantasy. In reality, parts of the story will be quite dark. But in my opinion, the dark pieces only make the brighter moments seem brighter! I have a huge interest in human relationships, so I focus a lot of attention on how the characters feel and react to one another. I also use a lot of details. I COMPLETELY understand where you're coming from, Barbara, when you said to possibly use a more common word, rather than using an unusual one. Sometimes I feel as though my vocabulary is a little strong given that my main character (and basically narrator) is a 17 year old girl! As far as the typos go, I suspected that there would be some. This is only my 2nd draft. I plan to go back and edit once I've made it through the book again. I tend to type INCREDIBLY fast when I'm writing the story(mostly because I come up with many of my ideas as I'm writing them). I have trouble keeping up with myself sometimes because I don't want to lose my flow! But, I promise that I'll work on that a little better. My worst habit, as far as writing goes, would have to be the dialogue format. For example...

I will do this:
"Help me." She called out. "It's got me!"

When I SHOULD be typing this:
"Help me," she called out, "it's got me!"

The funny thing is that I TOTALLY understand that I should be typing it that way, but it's a force of habit. And, like I said before, I usually don't worry about formalities and/or perfecting my grammar until later--so as not to disrupt the flow! If anyone would be interested in reading and critiquing some more, feel free to contact me through Debbie! I would GREATLY appreciate any sort of feedback and/or help that I can get! Thank you so much for already supporting me and commenting!

[Ron Pugsley]

Reading this small exert from the story makes me want to read the rest of the story, and I know that reading this small portion wasn't a waste of time. I have read stories in the past that made me feel like I am wasting my time, and I was only reading them to pass time. I can tell from this small portion that this is not one of those stories.

Sense of adventure, nice wording and great imagery makes me want to read more of the story. If you can accomplish to actually pull a reader into the story, you have accomplished attracting their full attention, making them want more and more. I have a feeling this story does that. Great job, Miss Anonymous.

[Laura Johnson]

Brilliant! Captivating from start to finish. Would like to read entire story. Thankyou for sharing.

[Kyle Shultz]

Very nice lead-in, and from the start to its finish, Miss Anonymous wants you to want more. She does a great job at describing her layout in the scenery, and it paints a great picture for the reader to give this sense of adventure a breath of life. Despite a few hit or miss spots with some words and/or dialogue, it is really good and an enjoyable read. We also have to take in that you said this is only the 2nd draft, so we have to expect a typo or two. Can't wait to read more. Excellent job, Miss Anonymous.

[Debbie Heal]

Miss Anonymous, I am so with you on the letting it flow thing. I always tell anyone who asks that a writer should not shut down the creative right side of his/her brain by worrying about editing when they are letting the story rip. Time enough for that later.

[Debbie Heal]

By the way, welcome to the blog, you commentators of Miss Anonymous. Please feel free to browse some of the other topics and comment away.

[Miss Anonymous]

Thank you all SO MUCH for your kind words. It's definitely hard to stay dedicated to something whenever the only feedback you've had is your own. It often gets me thinking that perhaps my story isn't as good as I think it is and that people will not want to read it. But then I realize just how much the story and characters mean to me...and I write it anyway! In fact, I tend to write a LOT. I was sharing with Debbie that I actually type upwards of 9500 words per chapter. That's made my average chapter around 34-36 pages--some have even been longer. As I said, this is the second copy of my book. The first copy concluded at 17 chapters (and about 450 pages). Going by my increase on length this time through (and given that I'm currently finishing up chapter 10) I realize that this copy will probably go a little past 17 chapters. BUT, if it doesn't, we're looking at around 600+ pages for book one. How about that? It really makes sense to me now why it's taking so long whenever I don't have to come up with the story! :) But, as I've said a MILLION times...all good things take time--and I want my readers to see the story as amazing, just like I do. Anything in particular stand out to anyone about this exert as far as the story goes? What particularly draws your attention?

[Debbie Heal]

You know what the really good part is? All that love for your characters and plot will pay off in more than one way--not only a good book someday, but invaluable writing experience forever. Writing an actual story is so much better practice than just journaling.

[Debbie Heal]

Miss Anonymous, please see the post about Leap Frogging. You might find this a helpful technique. I know I have. It's under the category "Good Writing." http://debbieheal.typepad.com/write-brain-activity/good-writing/

[Your friendly neighborhood Spiderman]

I loved the story, as an early reader of past and current editions, I must say I am immensely proud of the progress that you have achieved. As many have said there is a few problems with grammar or other simple problems, and as you know I have caught many typos before they have been given out. The difference between your original editions of this and your latest ones I have to say as well are simply astounding, I have to tell you, if this series doesn't become famous, readers will have missed out on one amazing piece of literature. I fully support everything you do, keep on writing and I will keep on reading, oohhh do I feel like such a book hipster!

[Miss Anonymous]

Spiderman, I do believe you have caught my attention. I will continue to send you my work as long as you swoop in and say a bunch of sappy, supportive stuff like that! Thanks a billion, friend.

[Jacob D. Poettker]

I really enjoy these types of books. This kept me interested from start to finish. I liked how you never called the red-haired girl by name, because it really shows the readers how new this character is to Madelyn. If i were to do differently about this, is let us really get to know Madelyn, describe how she's feeling. How do her choices and the events happening around her make her feel. You have events happening here, but we never really get to see how Madelyn reacts to this. Let us inside her and see how her mind is ticking. Over all, I very much enjoyed it and I would say that you have a natural writing talent. Good job!

[Sam Hanson]

Thank you so much, Jacob! It isn't showed much in this blurb, but I spend a LOT of time within the novel talking about her feelings. The reason I picked this particular blurb is because it's actually the first time that she isn't really thinking. She's just freaked because her world has been turned upside down before her eyes. She had just witnessed her friend's torture and almost death, as well as suffered herself. At this moment, she is basically trying to just survive and doesn't really have time to process that what once seemed IMPOSSIBLE was happening before her (i.e. the transfiguration, spell casting, flying, etc.) Does that make sense?

[Jacob D. Poettker]

It makes perfect sense. thank you for clearing that up!

[Sam Hanson]

Anytime! I have thought all of the scenarios and/or critiques through carefully! Yet, I stand by my work. Given that this is only the last 3 pages of Chapter 9, it's natural that nobody knows the whole story. Thus, I understand your confusion. If I was in your position and had only read what is above, I might feel the same way! Thank you SO MUCH everyone for your support! I am incredibly happy that I'm able to be reminded on a constant basis that I'm not wasting my time writing. It's good to have that extra boost of confidence that helps me push through those LONG chapters! I'll never forget any of it.

[Megan Legenbass]

I haven't read much in the realm of fantasy novels, but this is so intriguing! So much passion and talent is infused within these words. Even though I didn't know the story line before reading this, I found myself caring for Madelyn and the choices she had to make. The character seemed so real and raw. Great job Miss Anonymous!

[Miss Anonymous]

Thank you so much Miss Legenbass. I have tried very much to put as much reality into my novel as possible. I have spent COUNTLESS hours figuring out just who Madelyn is--and in turn, I've developed a main character that I adore, and I think others will adore, as well. Thank you so much for your kind words. They mean a lot.

[stephen johnson]

thourlghly enjoying. i want to read more..... only issue i have is the use of one or two turns of prhase. but that is just the oppinion of reader not an author

[Emily]

This is beautiful. It's natural and vivid while also reading like a true fantasy novel. I love it.